You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
