i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
