i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
