We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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