let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Randomize