Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
