i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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