My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
