At least make sure they are 18
Why
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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