So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
