Moan for me like Helen Keller
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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