Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Randomize
