She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize
