How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
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