Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
