I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
