My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I'm jealous of your bromance
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
