so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
this is an emotional support booty call
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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