you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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