Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
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