he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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