What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
