I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Randomize
