operation harelip BJ is a go
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Randomize
