today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
