there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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