Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
