hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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