Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
