The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
