I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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