Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
