Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
