dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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