Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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