small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
