Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
