Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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