Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
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