Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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