Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
