Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
