Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Randomize
