her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
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