Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Randomize
