some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
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