We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
