either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Semen is not good for contacts.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
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