I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Randomize
