...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Randomize